How to find out if my to be wife has unpaid loans?
We have been dating for a year and plan to get married. However unromantic this sounds, I do need to know if my future spouse has any unpaid loans…maybe student loans… credit card debt etc. If she has loans, will I become responsible for them? I am not a mean person, but I have worked my way into some decent money (below $100K ..so its not a big deal ) but it has taken me many many many years to get into my position at a university and I love this person but I can’t throw it all away for her. i searched the net…but i cant seem to get a clear answer
1. Are married couples jointly responsible for debt?
Given what I know of her background, I think she very likely does have debt.
2. If yes, how do I ask this uncomfortable question and if necessary…do I ask her to promise me in writing that I am not liable?
You shouldn’t marry her because of this statement right here…
“I love her BUT I CAN’T throw it all away FOR HER” ~ if you truly loved her then you would be open to the fact that the two of you could just make adjustments together to pay off any debt she may owe but you are really much more concerned about your current well being and don’t really care of her well being at the end of the day.
You obviously know how hard it is for someone to get to a certain point in life to get to a good position in your life so why wouldn’t you want to help someone who you claim you love?
Personally, if you really loved her you would just go to her and say the following…
“I have been thinking about the future and would like to maybe share where I am at as well as allow you to share your thoughts on where you are at in this relationship?” You then have opened the door for further discussion
Depending on what she says is how you continue the conversation but if she has interest in future marriage then just proceed w/ a conversation stating how thankful you are and how much you love her
then you would explain how long it took you to get where you are at but would like to assist her in doing the same together as a team if she is needing any past issues resolved. She should be honest w/ you but you may have to state in conversation asking her is she has any old debt that needs to be taken care of so you can both have good credit at the beginning of your marriage.
The two of you are a team so conversate and assist as one or get out because if you are truly in love then it wouldn’t be a selfish one sided fear that you have about her past debt, it would be a team effort in assisting one in a area that may not be a strength or may have just been a past ordeal in which she may not know how to take care of it so help her come up w/ a plan that the two of you can work on together to get things cleared up.
